Ashes To Ashes & Dust To Dust

When people find out I’m a journalist, I’m often asked about the interesting stories I’ve covered. I tell them about the humorous ones (such as the man who claimed to been drunk, thus violating his probation, thanks to a Jack Daniels marinated steak) & the sad ones (like the fatal fire that claimed the life of an infant as her family tried to jump to safety). Occasionally I come across stories that make me shake my head, but most times I’m not shocked. Perhaps I’ve become callous to the world’s malaise, but I tend to look at it positively, choosing to think that I’m capable of putting aside my feelings for the sake of objective reporting. And then there are the stories that manage to still illicit a jaw-dropping reaction. Today, February 1st, 2010, was one of those days.

It seemed simple enough. A woman & her ex-boyfriend having an alcohol fueled argument in which things get physical. That in itself should be sad given the domestic abuse nature of the incident. But then it took a turn for the macabre. On his way out the door, after shoving the woman to the ground, this guy broke into a small wooden box containing the ashes of the stillborn child the couple had together. He takes the ashes & for good measure, rips a necklace his ex wears in tribute to her dead child from her neck, taking both with him. When he is arrested nearly two weeks later he tells police that he’s hidden the ashes where no one will ever be able to find them & that his ex-girlfriend will never see the ashes of her deceased child again. At this point, the ashes have still not been recovered. Read the story here http://new.whbl.com/news/articles/2010/feb/01/domestic-incident-leads-theft-childs-ashes/

In my time reporting, I’ve covered quite a bit & I have been fortunate to gain experience in a wide range of fields. There have been a handful of stories/instances in which I’ve shaken my head & wondered out loud what had happened to humanity. This was just such a case.

To think that two people who at one point cared for one another (well cared enough to produce a child, which could mean they never gave a damn about each other, they just forgot to pull-out) could degenerate to such a place that the best revenge is akin to grave robbing is true mind-boggling. Do people even really think before they get together?

All I know about these people is that they had a child together & now that child’s ashes are missing as part of a bigger pissing contest. What I can say for certainty is that this guy could not have done anything worse to hurt his ex-girlfriend. And now he could remedy the situation, right a grave wrong by returning the ashes, instead he continues down his path of ensuring a room next to Hitler by playing hardball with the cops. Officially, he’s looking at maybe nine months in jail for misdemeanor theft (I don’t fault the district attorney for this as there really is no statute for ash stealing). While I don’t typically invoke the concept of eternal damnation, if such a fate exists, I think it’s safe to say that this guy is sure stamped for such a journey.

My only hope, and it is fleeting, is for this man (and that term should be used loosely) to realize the damage he has done & return the ashes ASAP. Unfortunately, I’d imagine the only way he’ll turn over the ashes unharmed is to be cut a deal. And in the long run, I suppose that would be an ok ending, so long as the mother the child that was stillborn gets to see the remnants of the most painful experience she’s ever lived through returned to her promptly. Naturally, I’d hope for a more severe punishment, but to bring peace to an already grieving mother would serve as a small consolation prize.

Is it too much to hope for someone to finally do the right thing?